Impact Zone

     Below is the email I sent to friends and family after returning from my first trip to Haiti in July 2011. The time was a major crossroads for me since my pursuit of the London Olympic dream was brought to a close in May. I was in my second month of waiting to see where to step next, when this opportunity divinely settled in my lap.

July 19, 2011

Can you believe that at this exact moment I am sitting on a pillow sipping on a now-cooling latte with crumbling remnants of a scone scattered nearby? Of course you can; it's what I do. This time, though, I'm in my Colorado (that's right... it's MINE).

I had the honor of venturing to Haiti a little over a week ago. On July 5-9, I joined a former National Team assistant coach of mine, Tom Hogan (see his blog on the trip here), as well as two other young coaches, to go to the shaken country and teach volleyball.

Some quick background: USA Volleyball has teamed up with a group called Child In Hand (http://www.childinhand.org ), which aims to reach out to the at-risk youth in Haiti, as well as provide various degrees of treatment for trauma victims there, including medical, psycho-social, movement, and now sport. They are working on various projects in line with this vision, as well as working to support six orphanages and two schools in Haiti. A radiant and humble woman named Lily is the leader of the pack as president and CEO of PSA ( http://www.explorepsa.com/ ), the main funder of this mission.

I arrived early morning of the 6th and went straight to the court, which happened to be outside under the blazing heat and filled with 30+ adult players and coaches hungry to learn. We coached the large, sometimes changing, group of players for four days, six hours each day (9am-4pm) with a one hour break for lunch. Following the sessions we would engage in world-changing dialogue with the Child In Hand team and visit various orphanages.

My time there was short, but the impact... deep. Although, I have had the privilege of seeing and living in various parts of this world, even having been to the neighboring Dominican Republic several times for tournaments, this was my first primarily "off road" experience. Many people ask, "How was Haiti?," which I appreciate very much, and yet I often struggle for words beyond "Life Changing." As I continue to reflect, however, I have identified three parts of this experience that resonate with my heart and spirit the most. Here goes...

ONE

When I ducked under the doorway into an orphanage for the first time on our second day, I soon became discouraged by my inability to connect to these beautiful kids hunched about the room stringing bracelets. My bird and chipmunk chirps got a few smiles, as did the dominance of my stature, but nothing held. I found myself staring at them, wanting so badly to tell each one how beautiful and valuable he or she is, but without the language to do so. Even if I had found words, I felt paralyzed by their circumstance. How can I preach hope to them or ask them their dreams, when all they have known is bracelets, streets, and abandonment? I was especially drawn to the two older boys with the hard faces, obeying the bead pattern with apathy and growing defiance. I can't imagine the struggle in puberty and identity of a 16-year-old person in that environment. Even my best attempts at joking with them seemed to hit stone and fall to the ground.

That is, until we stepped outside and began to demonstrate to the mass of kids how to prepare their hands to set or clasp their fingers to pass a volleyball. Focus. Each mind became engaged in the present. The hunger to learn was aroused, and every eye followed our movement as Tom and I kept the ball in the air using these two techniques. Who wants to try? I can only imagine the series of thoughts: "I can't... I'd be embarrassed...but it looks fun...and easy...and maybe I could...I want to try....I will try!" and the hand shot up to the sky "Pick me!" or the feet began to walk forward to the opening in the crowd. Suddenly her brothers and sisters are cheering. "They're cheering for me?" I smile and link eyes, reminding her to bend her knees like so, arms straight. Tom tosses a ball, and the little one's body and heart and mind surge together as the ball collides with her forearms and barrels into the sky. More cheers. The broken glass under bare feet and smell of excrement fall away in a moment of elation. I did it.

I like playing volleyball. The cognitive and physical aspects of learning and executing proper technique and dynamic movement is a high that I cherish. However, what I have grown to value and love the most about this sport are the intangibles that it has fostered in my life. My passion to play and compete is dwarfed by my desire to teach character and integrity, true success and value of risk, hope and Kingdom value through this sport. Sport is a microcosm of life, a practice ground in developing who we are and want to be.

 

 

This deep desire of my heart to cultivate young people's understanding of their true value through this sport formed a heartbeat in Haiti! I saw layers of defense and hardship fall away as a circle gathered to keep the ball off the floor. I saw future and hope seep in a little as the defiant 16-year-old began to use his body in ways he never thought he could. I saw the potential of coming back "next time" and sitting with him, layers of stone now broken down, ready to tell his story--that I might even be used to speak life into his heart and spirit. His visions and dreams expanding as his purpose and value become released by truth!

 

TWO

In the dark of night we toured the poor living quarters of the many kids in the orphanage plagued with mumps. One of the tarps draped over a small room stacked with four triple-bed bunks caused Becca and I to step out of that space frowning and discouraged. Rich, the former Navy Seal of the group, was standing outside and in seeing our countenance, offered a dose of truth. He said that these conditions, although seemingly unbearable to us, are the best that these kids have ever known. Before coming here, they were likely sleeping on a mat overlaying cement with no covering at all. Perspective...

 

 

Before I came to Haiti, a friend of mine shared with me a truth spoken to him by Wes Stafford, the leader of Compassion International. It went something like this: "The opposite of poor is not rich. The opposite of poor is enough." Throughout my time in Haiti, I marveled at the smiles that would quickly catch fire among the orphans and athletes we interacted with. What would blow me away, though, is that their smiles were laced with an inner joy that didn't line up with their surrounding circumstance.

It made me wonder, if they in their poverty knew a freedom that I, as an American lavished in "riches", don't understand, perhaps they are not feeling as desperate for stuff as we think they are. Of course, they are beyond grateful for any gift of food or toys or time, but what if in their poverty they are more rich than I am? They are rich in that they walk in a mindset of gratitude. They move in a way of self-sacrifice and love in order to survive. There is a deep satisfaction in their heart that love and simplicity and community has not been corrupted by media or fame or money. Poverty is not defined by circumstance, but by state of being.

We brought them some hope through volleyball and time, while Child In Hand continues to bless them incredibly by meeting basic needs through therapy and food, etc. All of these are valuable and necessary services, and yet a reality exists that when we leave Haiti, these kids are still smiling from the inside out--rich in that their joy is not dependent on more stuff. Wow, does this challenge and bless me as I aim to figure out how to apply this revelation to my own life.

THREE

I have a picture of the dinner table at La Reserve after our first night together (see below). At first I thought the picture would have been better with the people in it, but the fact that they're not is telling in itself. To be at a table with a group of people with such unique backgrounds, intelligence, commitment, passion, and vision was like adding kerosene to my already blazing desire to change the world. The motivations and roles are so varied, and yet in all the collective and individual conversations I was able to engage in throughout the four day journey, I continued to be amazed by the cohesiveness of this rightfully titled "team." The picture of the table is not a picture of inspired people just talking and dreaming, but the picture is a memory of that fact because as it goes, the people who were there are now on their feet DOING what they talked and dreamed about. C'MON!!!

My hands are sweating and my heart is thumping as I type this... There are more stories to tell--like about my tall orphan sister named Sedan (the future of Haitian volleyball?), baby Moses and his parents, the freedom and joy of grunting, the mass prayer following the final teaching session, and meeting "Little Colorado," the first orphan I have ever cradled in my arms.

But like I said, I am in Colorado at the moment. and tomorrow I leave for Arizona to coach at a 10-day USA Volleyball camp. Then it's back to Cali for the month of August to just BE and pray and see how God wants to deal with the great big question marks that arrive with September 1st. I don't know what's next for me, but I am pumped.

...And I have a feeling that wasn't my last trip to Haiti.

"I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something.

What I can do, I ought to do. What I ought to do, by the grace of God I will do."

~ Edward Hale